Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Pestilent Friends

I’m back! Ted has come charging to my rescue with a black MacBook.

The phone rings. It’s the solicitor calling me back about my new roof question. The other phone rings, “excuse me, can you hold on for a minute?” I say to the solicitor. “Hello?” “It’s Antony, listen, about Miranda…” “Antony can I call you back?” I’m back with the solicitor. The doorbell rings. It’s the postman. He is delivering my order of Revitalash. I grab it like a monkey grabs a cake and sign the receipt. “Hello? I’m sorry about all these interruptions.” The doorbell rings. “Excuse me.” It’s my friend Kalamari come to help me do some chores. “Hello?” The solicitor suggests that I send her the paperwork and she will look at it. “Hi Kalamari,” I say, “cup of tea?” The phone rings. It’s cousin Ben. He launches into a long tale about work and his future plans. Eventually I bring the conversation to a conclusion. “So, Kalamari, how are you?” “Well…” says Kalamari. The phone rings. It’s Tessa. “Can I come round tomorrow?” The doorbell rings. “Excuse me Tessa.” It’s the man from Amsys, come to collect my sick laptop. “Sorry Tessa. Yes. I mean no. I have doctors appointments all afternoon.” “Ok, bye.” I look back to Kalamari. She opens her mouth as if to speak. The phone rings. It’s Antony. “You didn’t call me back.”

Yesterday nobody called me at all. Today the pests won’t leave me alone.