Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Fear and Love

It pays to remember the words of my friend Lianne who said, in her Sopranos Brooklyn accent: “Lily, everything comes down to love or fear.”

I take a notebook and open a fresh spread. On the left hand page I write fear, on the right hand page I write love. Then I write down all my actions of the day on the appropriate page, according to whether they were motivated by fear or love. So, for example “got shirty with the lady at the DWP,” and “hooted at the idiot who turned right into Chesterton Road without looking causing me to brake hard,” both would go on the fear page. “Skyped my Mum,” and “did food shopping” would go on the love page.

It only takes a couple of minutes. I don’t bother writing down my thoughts and feelings. They’re irrelevant for the purpose of this exercise.

When I have a wobbly day, like yesterday, that simple practise can change my perspective instantly. Of course, if I only could remember to do it every day then I wouldn’t have many wobbly days like yesterday. In fact, I have noticed that if I do this exercise consistently, I soon begin to have days when there is nothing at all to write on the fear side of the ledger.