Thursday 26 August 2010

Marooned

Hair dye may be one of the most toxic cosmetics that we habitually put on our bodies. I read somewhere that a ranking of the most dangerous professions puts hairdressers right up there with Chilean miners and human cannonballs. But I have yet to find a suitable alternative hair colour that isn’t wishy-washy.

Investigations continue.

Meanwhile, in an attempt at harm minimisation on the financial front at least, I go to my local branch of Boots. Here I am bewildered by rack upon rack of boxed hair dye, each one bearing the face of an averagely pretty white woman with a slightly different hair colour, smiling like the cat that got the cream. “Look at me,” she seems to purr, “I dyed my hair honey copper blonde and now little Johnny has got a scholarship to Eton, my husband has been promoted at Goldman Sachs, I’ve just taken delivery of a new Porsche Cayenne and I’m having an affair with Dirk, my personal trainer.”

I search among the rows of boxes for my usual colour. Then I search for even longer for a staff member to help me.

“We don’t stock that colour”

“Do you mean it’s out of stock?”

“No. We’ve never stocked it.”

I’m fairly certain that I have bought it here for the past five years. Nonetheless, I accept that that line of reasoning will get me nowhere so I get busy studying the shelves and eventually select another packet whose smiling head I might aspire to.

On emerging from the bathroom I Skype Lulu in Armidale, northern New South Wales, Australia. They say that familiarity breeds contempt. In my experience, distance does not necessarily soften it. “What’s happened to your hair?” screams Lulu.

“Well, I dyed it, kind of... purple.”

It’s, it’s maroon!”

Tuesday 24 August 2010

You Are Gorgeous Just the Way You Are

Yes, you.

Sunday 22 August 2010

All My Friends Are Getting Botox

I have poured out many words recently about the dangers of chemicals in cosmetics. So I don’t suppose that I can, with integrity, go and have my face injected full of botulinum toxin and hyaluronic acid. At least, not without first taking advice from my oncologist. Apart from the hypocrisy involved, about which I do not give two hoots, I’m just too skint to contemplate expensive facial procedures at this time.

And yet... I’ve had cancer, been through all the treatments, had my heart broken and coped with grief and depression. I cannot bear to start looking o-l-d on top of it all. It’s not fair! What am I to do?

Ring. “Anton, do you remember years ago when we watched your mum’s video about face-lift exercises?”

“You mean when you collapsed laughing at that mad old trout and I had to pick you up off the floor?”

“Yes! Do you still have the video?”

Unfortunately Anton’s mum’s VHS collection has been consigned to the dustbin of obselete technology. But a quick search on google produces some promising leads.

Here is a distillation of exercises designed to keep the face looking fresh and youthful:

Start with a tapping routine. This helps to boost circulation and eliminate toxins.
Tap quickly and lightly under your chin with the backs of your fingers.

With the soft pads of your fingertips, tap along the jawline, towards the ears.

Tap around your mouth a few times from the chin to under the nose and back again.

Tap along your eyebrows, down the temples and then along the cheekbones to the sides of your nose. Don’t tap the delicate skin around your eyes.

Starting from the temples, tap backwards and forwards to the centre of your forehead.

Place your fingertips under your cheekbones and massage back towards your ears with circular movements.

Do some limbering up before you start the facial exercises. Shrug your shoulders to your ears then down. Circle your shoulders backwards and then forwards.
Repeat each exercise 5 times.
Hold each movement for 6-8 seconds, then slowly release.
Breathe deeply and slowly as you go.

For a double chin: Keep your teeth together and slide your chin forwards. Lift your bottom lip over your top lip. Press tip of your tongue against roof of your mouth.
For lip lines: Slide your thumbs under your top lip, thumbnails resting against your gums. Contract your upper lip muscles in small movements to press against the thumbs.

For your jawline: With your head up and chin jutting forward, grip your upper lip with your lower teeth. Feel a stretch in the front of your neck. Slowly smile without losing the grip of your top lip.  
For eyelids: Lie your index fingers under your eyebrows, thumbs on the side of your head. Whilst firmly holding the sides of your fingers against the eye socket bones, raise your eyebrows and then gently close your eyes.

Now place your fingertips on the outer corners of your eyes. Move your fingers slightly upwards as you close your eyelids downwards.

For crow’s feet: Keep your upper eyelids still whilst raising your lower lids.

For your forehead: Place two fingers on your forehead above your brows to fix the eyebrows in place. Press your fingers downward whilst trying to raise your eyebrows. Release and look down.

For your whole face: Open your mouth as much as it will go and stick your tongue out as far as you can. Open your eyes wide.

I’m not certain if it is the exercises that do the trick or rather the fits of hysterical laughter that they invoke.

Saturday 21 August 2010

Things I Rarely Notice But I Would Miss Them if They Weren't There

Two exploding balls of pink and red pelargoniums that hang from the lamp post on the corner of Ladbroke Grove.

Friday 20 August 2010

Result

                  From: CONSUMERCARE-UK@GCC.MACCOSMETICS.COM
               Subject: Re:MAC Response to Case No.44528
                       To: Canalily

Dear Ms. Canalily, 

We are in receipt of your recent correspondence. 

As requested, please find below the ingredient listing for the Studio Moisture Tint SPF15, for your perusal. 

INGREDIENTS: WATER\AQUA\EAU [] CYCLOPENTASILOXANE [] BUTYLENE GLYCOL [] ETHYLHEXYL METHOXYCINNAMATE [] STEARETH-21 [] GLYCERYL STEARATE [] DIMETHICONE [] ISOSTEARIC ACID [] TROMETHAMINE [] TOCOPHERYL ACETATE [] LECITHIN [] CHOLESTEROL [] ASCORBYL PALMITATE [] SODIUM HYALURONATE [] CAFFEINE [] ALOE BARBADENSIS LEAF WATER [] HYDROGENATED LECITHIN [] SUCROSE [] SORBITOL [] SILICA [] MAGNESIUM ALUMINUM SILICATE [] TREHALOSE [] CARBOMER [] STEARETH-2 [] CELLULOSE GUM [] PVP [] PALMITOYL OLIGOPEPTIDE [] GLYCERYL POLYMETHACRYLATE [] METHYLDIHYDROJASMONATE [] XANTHAN GUM [] CAPRYLYL GLYCOL [] STEARIC ACID [] SODIUM CITRATE [] PEG-8 [] GLYCERIN [] DISODIUM EDTA [] HEXYLENE GLYCOL [] BHT [] PHENOXYETHANOL [] CHLORPHENESIN [] CHLOROXYLENOL []  [+/- MICA [] IRON OXIDES (CI 77491, CI 77492, CI 77499) [] TITANIUM DIOXIDE (CI 77891)]

Please be assured of our best attention. 

Sincerely,

Rachel Martin
Consumer Care Centre
Global Consumer Communications

I am pleased to find that this product contains relatively few suspect carcinogenic or endocrine disrupting ingredients. Surely it would be a simple thing for the MAC boffins to find safe alternatives for the sunscreen Ethylhexyl Methoxycinnamate (a.k.a. Octinoxate), the skin conditioner Tocopheryl Acetate, the solvent PEG-8, the masking agent BHT, the preservative Phenoxyethanol and a few other odds and sods? They would then reap the benefit of being able to market an undeniably safe product and thereby enjoy the eternal gratitude of the likes of you and me.

Thursday 19 August 2010

Things Are Looking Up

Fat Hand and Dollars by Helmut Newton
I won the lottery - £10!

Sunday 15 August 2010

Product Replacement - Part 2



Base

I currently use: MAC Studio Moisture Tint SPF 15, ingredients unknown.


Jane Iredale was one of the first companies to develop a full range of mineral-based make-up. Minerals cannot be certified as organic but the ingredients list is quite harmless. This is a light, silky tinted moisturiser that can also be used as a primer for a heavier base. The primary ingredient is Titanium Dioxide, which means that it provides a SPF of 15.


This is heavier than the Jane Iredale but still very light. It only comes in three shades so you might not find one that is right for your skin tone. Great list of natural ingredients. No SPF.


I’m pleased to say that, when it comes to developing great natural and organic cosmetics, Antipodean companies are in the vanguard. Nvey products are certified by Organic Food Chain. The makers pledge that their products contain no Parabens; SLS; Propylene Glycol or Petroleum oils. They are free of GM ingredients and not tested on animals. Great credentials. This is a proper foundation with a silky finish. Quite a good range of colours.


If you’re going for the full-glamour flawless matte finish use this primer and foundation together. The ingredients sound like the contents of a physic garden.

Blusher

I currently use: Benefit Dandelion

Because powder blushers can be easily made entirely of mineral ingredients there is no need for them to contain any preservatives whatsoever. Nevertheless my Benefit powder blusher contains methylparaben; butylparaben; ethylparaben; isobutylparaben and propylparaben along with talc; polyethylene; phenoxyethanol; alumina and a few other suspicious-sounding ingredients that aren’t even listed on the Environmental Working Group’s chemical database. I'm just amazed to find that my innocent looking cheek powder is a fizzing cocktail of carcinogens and endocrine disruptors. Why? 

I have enough of this product left to last me about a year. Even though I bought it only recently at a cost of A$54 I think I’m going to have chuck it. There are a lot of contenders in the natural powder blusher category, all of them perfectly good. The one that came closest in tone to ‘Dandelion’ is:

Thursday 12 August 2010

Some Days Are Harder Than Others

Today I’m seeing Suzy Cleator. Remember her? My oncologist. She went off to have a baby. Well she had a little girl and now she’s back.

In the waiting room is a woman who is obviously having chemotherapy. She’s wearing a wig and her eyebrows are pencilled on. Her partner is with her: husband, boyfriend, whatever. I can’t tell if they are married or not but what I can see is that he is being so tender and kind to her. I start to cry. I dash to the loo and splash water on my face but I can’t stop. When Suzy calls my name the tears are still coursing down my face.

How or when will I ever cross this ocean of grief? I feel I've been adrift here for so long.

I think it’s time to give the anti-depressants a go.

Product Replacement





Here is what happened: I promised you that, as each one ran out, I would replace all my skincare products and cosmetics with healthier, purer alternatives. Recently I squeezed out the last drop of my MAC tinted moisturiser. Well I did intend to research the alternative but then I was right there in Harrods and I just happened to be near the MAC counter... “Can you tell me what is in this?” I asked, holding up a tube of tinted moisturiser. There was no list of ingredients either on the tube or on the box. The sales girl looked bored as she flicked open a huge folder of MAC product information. “It’s not listed,” she said. “Oh well, I’ll take it anyway. Will you be so good as to email me the list of ingredients?” I added, somewhat sternly.  “Yes, write down your email address.” That was about six weeks ago.

Have I had an email from her? Have I hell. I subsequently sent an email to MAC customer services requesting the information. They have not replied. Their reticence can only lead me to assume the worst.

But this product replacement is tricky. I’ve realised that just waiting until something runs out and then wondering what to replace it with is leaving it too late. I’ve decided to take it upon myself to do the research, so you don’t have to.

I paid a visit to Imelda Burke at her wonderful shop Being Content in Bulstrode Street, Marylebone. To make Imelda work on your behalf, I took with me a huge bag of all the beauty products that I use regularly and challenged her to come up with an alternative for each one.

I will review these products in-depth when and if I ever get around to actually bringing them home. This will be a long enough post as it is. But I want to give you an overview of the kind of things that are available.

Body lotion.

I currently use: cheap coconut oil from Tesco.
Imelda says that is fine as far as it goes but be aware that they bleach the coconut oil to make it white and also heat it in the extraction process. It would be better to use a certified organic raw coconut oil. I will get onto that. Coconut oil is fine but a bit boring. What if we want something a touch fancier? Imelda’s first suggestion is


The Evolve brand has been developed by Laura Rudoe. She was formerly head of development at Nude Skincare. Her aim is to bring certified organic and natural skincare to the mass market. And she seems to be succeeding. Evolve products are now available through Ocado. The body lotion has a creamy consistency and smells like cake. Certified organic by Ecocert.


This is a much thicker body cream made with organic shea butter. It has a heavenly floral fragrance. Certified organic by Ecocert.


This is a thick lotion designed for sensitive skin. It has anti-inflammatory properties so is ideal if you have itchy skin or eczma. Pai products are certified as organic by the Soil Association.


When it comes to organic skincare, Weleda is the trusty go-to brand. Great products at reasonable prices. This lotion is runnier than the others, more like a body milk. It smells gorgeous and is cooling on the skin. Certified organic under the Natrue system.

Face.
I currently use: REN Rose 012 Ultra Moisture Serum.
“Very good,” says Imelda. “But,” say I, “it is very expensive. Perhaps you could recommend an alternative for daytime use?”


This moisturiser contains therapeutic herbs that are great for irritable or very dry skin. A lot of men like this product: it has a fresh smell and is great for after shaving. Also it is multi-purpose, a bit like a Swiss Army knife.


An outstanding and popular moisturiser. It absorbs well and smells lovely.

We started at the reasonable end of things but, as is the case with face products, prices are soon rocketing.


The standout claim of Nude Skincare is that their products contain natural peptides, which are anti-ageing. They are mostly derived from milk: milk protein; whey protein; bifida ferment lysate and lactose. I don’t know what Professor Jane Plant would have to say on this matter but it sure is a lovely moisturiser.


This is a really interesting range. Dr Alkaitis is an Ethnopharmacologist, whatever that may be. He starts from the premise that the sheer number of synthetic chemicals that we are subjected to on a daily basis bears a correlation to the seeming epidemic of cancer that we are experiencing. Dr Alkaitis claims that his products contain only ‘living’ plant materials and that no ingredient is heated to more than body temperature. The face creams are so organic and natural that apparently one could spread them on toast, although at £65 for a 50ml bottle you might be better off sticking with the caviar.


The U.S.P. (unique selling point - dummy) of the Amala brand is that they have done lots of clinical testing in Germany to prove that their natural products are as effective as the synthetic equivalents. This may go some way towards justifying the price - £60 for 30ml.

That’s enough beauty products for today but there are lots more to come. Stay tuned...

Wednesday 11 August 2010

To Be Continued...

“This is looking a lot better,” says Mr Hadjiminas, examining my back. “Fantastic!” I exclaim, “So can I stop wearing that?” I jab a finger at the compression bra that is lying innocently across the back of a chair.

“What, and throw it all away just when we’re winning?” My face falls. “We could always put you back in the elastic bandage,” cajoles Mr H. I shoot him a sour look.

 “I’m going on holiday for three weeks. If it gets worse again, come back and see me then.”

“And if it doesn’t get worse?”

“Come back and see me in three months.”

“So, do I have to wear the compression bra for another three months?”

“Oh no, three more weeks should do it.”

“Oh thanks. Enjoy your holiday.”

Exeunt.

A Stranger is Just a Friend I Haven't Met Yet

One of the things that I love about writing Chemo Chic is that it leads me meet so many great people.

My new friend Dawn came over for coffee this morning. Dawn is a Pilates teacher. She has agreed to devise a simple Pilates routine that will help us all to regain shoulder strength and mobility following breast surgery.

Watch this space...

Fruit Salad for the Face

After so much time spent recently in hospitals, waiting rooms and in bed I feel my face is taking on a distinctly grey pallor. Time to try:

REN F10 Smooth and Renew Peel Mask

The entire bottle is made of plastic. There is no indication of what type of plastic. I pump out a splodge of gorgeous, gelatinous goo. It smells more like blackcurrants than roses. Later I read on the REN website that: “Omega 3 and 6 from arctic blackcurrant reduce skin inflammation” and that it also contains vitamin C from Barbados cherry to fight free radicals and Papain from Mexican papaya to eliminate dead skin cells. Quite the international fruit salad.

I smooth it over my face and neck, avoiding the delicate eye area and generally trying to look like one of those classic face-mask magazine ads. Instead I get quite a lot of it in my hair and a little bit up my nose as well.

After ten minutes of not using the telephone, scratching my chin or putting on my reading glasses I attempt to “pat and lift with fingertips.” Just once I would like to find a face mask that actually lifts off like a second skin. The only thing that ever came close was when, at school, my friends and I smeared our faces with clear glue and then peeled it off. There is something deeply satisfying about doing that, like picking a scab. But I no longer recommend glue as part of one’s weekly beauty regime. I think it’s probably made of cow products anyway.

Now comes the best bit. This face mask is packaged with it’s own little muslin cloth, complete with a REN label. How posh. I dampen the cloth and then rub the mask off in circular motions. The mask contains some fine granules, so as I rub with the cloth I get an extra exfoliating cleanse.

I have to say that afterwards my face feels fresh and alive. I smooth on a squirt of REN Rose 012 Ultra moisture serum and I’m positively aglow.

Ingredients (from the REN website): Citrus Aurantium Bergamia (Bergamot) Fruit Water, Glycerine (Source Coconut Oil), Polysorbate 60 (Source Rape Seed Oil), Lecithin (Source Soybean), Citrus Aurantium Amara (Bitter Orange) Peel Extract, Rosa Canina (Rose Hip) Seed Oil, Ribes Nigrum (Black Currant) Seed Extract, Xanthan Gum (Source Corn), Maltodextrin, Carica Papaya (Papaya) Fruit Extract, Malpighia Glabra (Acerola Barbedos Cherry) Fruit Extract, Parfum (100% Natural Fragrance), Citrus Aurantium Dulcis (Orange) Oil, Citrus Nobilis (Mandarin Orange) Peel Oil, Citrus Tangerina (Tangerine) Peel Oil, Citrus Grandis (Grapefruit) Seed Oil, Limonene, Linalool, Citral, Phenoxyethanol (Source Aromatic Ether), Tocopherol (Vitamin E), Sodium HydroxymethylGlycinate (Source Amino Acid)

Tuesday 10 August 2010

Another Jolly Day Out

I have neglected to mention this until now...

In the middle of all the drama in Australia I noticed a small lump on one side of the bridge of my nose. It grew larger. A few weeks ago I went to have it checked out by Dr Jonathan Leonard, a dermatologist. “Hmmm, it looks like a basal cell carcinoma.” My throat tightened, I gripped the arms of the chair. “Carcinoma?” I whispered. I told him that I have only recently been treated for breast cancer. “Well it is a cancer, but a low grade one. It’s not life threatening but you must have it removed. It’s very close to your eye so the procedure has to be done by a specialist.” He referred me to an Opthalmic surgeon, Mr Naresh Joshi.

Mr Joshi could quite safely be described as “Mr Jolly” He explained to me that the lump was quite close to my eye but, luckily, not so close that removing it would damage the tear duct. He further explained that it did indeed look like a basal cell carcinoma and that’s a good thing: “If it was a malignant melanoma you’d probably be dead in three months,” he added, gaily. But it will only get bigger, so it has to go. “We can do it under general anaesthetic or local. Which would you prefer?” I told him that I had two generals last year and was about to have another so I really would prefer it to be a local. “That’s fine, but it is best that we sedate you.” We agreed to defer the procedure until after Mr Hadjiminas had done the surgery on my back.

Today is the day. I have to be nil-by-mouth from 7.30 a.m. so I get up early and force down some toast, an apple and a nice cup of tea. As I’m getting dressed and planning the day it occurs to me that it might not be such a good idea to drive to the hospital if I am to be sedated. I call Justin. He kindly hauls his arse out of bed and is soon outside my door, avec automobile. He drives me to the Bupa Cromwell hospital.

Sedation, I had imagined, would be something like a Valium – to relax me so that I won’t flinch or leap from the couch as Mr Joshi comes at my eye with a scalpel. “Ok, we’re just going to give you some sedation,” says the anaesthetist and injects cold liquid into my hand. An hour later I wake up on a trolley. My hand is clasped around a tube of ointment. I look at it in drugged puzzlement. Someone must have tucked it into my hand whilst I was under. Soon Mr Joshi arrives. “We sent the tissue to the lab. It was a basal cell carcinoma but we didn’t get it all out so we’re going to have to do a bit more.” The theatre nurses wheel me back around to the anaesthetic room. An hour later I wake up again. Now there are two tubes of ointment on my lap.

Sheldon has been by to collect me but has gone away again. I call him and reschedule the pick-up.

Back in my room I order up an omelette, some soup, a round of sandwiches, a plate of fruit salad and a pot of tea. I haven’t eaten for twelve hours. My head clears and I take stock of my surroundings. The Bupa Cromwell, I observe, is not a patch on the Harley Street Clinic. The lobby is all marble and glitzy but upstairs it is decidedly dilapidated. The nurses are kind and professional but you can tell that they are very short-staffed. The phone in my room is out of order, the air conditioning cannot be turned off and the room is freezing. An engineer comes and lays some towels over the vents to try to rectify the situation. The bedside light switch doesn’t work. The foot end of the bed will not go up and down as advertised. The toilet roll holder falls apart when I touch it. I think I have become something of a hospital snob.

I don't want to stay here any more. I'm delighted when the phone rings. It's Sheldon, "Lily, I'm downstairs."

Saturday 7 August 2010

Sesame Sweet Potato Boats

I have this when I just can't be bothered to cook a meal, like today.

1. Put the oven on to 180º.
2. Chuck in a sweet potato.
3. Cook until the potato is crispy on the outside and soft to touch, 20-40 minutes, depending on the size of the potato. Tip: I put on an oven glove and just give the potato a little squeeze to test it.
4. Whilst the potato is cooking, toast a handful of sesame seeds on a dry frying pan. Tip: I toast quite a lot and then keep them in a paper bag so I always have some to add to rice or salad.
5. Cut the potato in half lengthways. It should kind of pop when you put the knife into it.
6. Score the flesh into squares but leave the skin on.
7. Drizzle the potato with olive oil and soy sauce.
8. Top the sweet potato boats with a good layer of sesame seeds.
9. Eat the whole thing, skin and all.
10. Put another one in the oven...

Friday 6 August 2010

Carry On, Doctor


Back to the hospital. I feel I should simply move in here to save the running up and down. My chauffeur-du-jour is the lovely Carlton, boyfriend of my equally lovely friend Sheryl. These two have been together for ever and a day. I’m pleased to say that they’re to be married in December. Pleased for me, that is – I love going to weddings.

Nurse Diana is on duty today. She greets me with a big kiss on each cheek. Mr Hadjiminas extends his hand. “I can explain,” I blurt, pulling the big pink bandage from my handbag and brandishing it at him. “I took it off. It was squashing my new breast. I was worried that it might become permanently deformed.” Mr H looks aghast. “I’m wearing the compression bra,” I add, as if in mitigation.

“Well let’s have a look at you,” says Mr H. I strip to the waist and he prods my back. “Much better...” Rather than admonish me for being neurotic Mr H takes a conciliatory approach. “Maybe we can put some padding inside the bandage to support your breast?” he muses, “Or cut a hole in it?” He sits down behind me. The couch tips precariously in his direction. “Don’t get up!” shouts Diana, “Lily will go flying into the wall”

“Steroid,” says Mr H. Nurse Diana holds up an ampoule and a syringe. “Expiry 2014” she reads from the label. “What, so we’re using unexpired stuff these days?” comments Mr H. As he inserts the needle into my back I try to hold still but I can’t. My body is just shaking with laughter.

Thursday 5 August 2010

Out of the Frying Pan

“Oh forget about internet dating,” says Iris. “get a death-row pen-pal.” She pulls a book from her handbag. THE NIGHT STALKER screams the title in huge letters. It is the story of Richard Ramirez, an out-and-out sociopath who killed thirteen people in Los Angeles, having raped several of them. Despite the vicious nature of the murders and his total lack of remorse Richard Ramirez apparently has a huge fan club of women who write to him in San Quentin prison. One of them even got married to him. Iris flicks open the book. Inside are photographs of a shockingly handsome man. He looks like a cross between Mick Jagger and Che Guevara. “There's a website and you can just do a search for the kind of psycho you want. Of course, you can’t have sex with them,” says Iris, grinning.

I Long to Sleep a Dreamless Sleep

5.40 a.m. I haven’t slept all night. Switch on the radio. “In the news today in 1962, actress Marilyn Monroe was found dead with a bottle of sleeping pills by her side.” Cut to an interview with John Huston, “Nobody was surprised... One of her main enemies was sleeplessness.”

Wednesday 4 August 2010

This is the Modern World

“You do know Lily,” says Wanda in a matter-of-fact-tone, “that you’re going to have to do internet dating, for research purposes.”


Apparently everyone is doing it but I completely balk at the idea.

“Why don’t you do internet dating and then tell me all about it Wanda?”

“Well I would, but my husband might not approve.”

“There you see, if internet dating was so great you’d be doing it instead of running off and getting married.”

Tuesday 3 August 2010

If You Try Sometimes, You Get What You Need

There’s a knock-knock at the door. It’s Sheldon. “How are you Lily?” he asks. “I’m fine” I say and then burst into tears. “I’m sorry Sheldon,” I say, between sobs, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I keep getting like this. I should be better by now.”

“Lily,” says Sheldon, “Imagine that you hadn’t seen me for a year or so and then we met and you said, ‘Hey Sheldon, what’s been happening?’ And I told you that I’d had cancer and chemotherapy and then I’d gone out to Australia and when I got there I found out that my girlfriend had been cheating on me and she left me and I’d had a mental breakdown and wound up in a rehab, then I’d come back to London and gone back into hospital again for more surgery. How do you think I would be feeling about now?” I look at him, “quite devastated,” I reply.

To cheer me up, Sheldon takes me to dinner at Makan, the lovely Malaysian café down the road. Then we jump in the car and head over to Shepherd’s Bush to see The Jolly Boys. This Jamaican Mento band has been going, in one form or another, for over fifty years. Most of them are in their seventies and eighties. The band was recently rediscovered by Jon Baker, co-owner of GeeJam studio in Port Antonio. Now they're doing a world tour and releasing an album. The Jolly Boys shuffle on stage. The lead singer looks like Freddy Kruger. They perform a line-up of cover versions rendered in Mento style including Blondie’s Hanging on the Telephone and The Rolling Stones’ You Can’t Always Get What You Want. It’s just hilarious. Finally they break into Amy Winehouse’s Rehab. The crowd go wild, dancing and singing along. World changing music it aint but if The Jolly Boys turned up to play at my wedding I think I would be very pleased. And their current success is testament to Lily’s first principle of living well: Never give up. Follow your dreams until you die.

Sheba!

A reader in Queensland sent this amazing painting. I love it.
The Visit of the Queen of Sheba to King Solomon by Sir Edward John Poynter Bt PRA RWS (1839-1919).
In the right hand corner you can see a man preparing the beetroot juice for the Queen.

Monday 2 August 2010

Royal Juice

I picture this juice being served to the Queen of Sheba as she reclines on silken cushions.

Everything should be organic

About three smallish raw beetroots
6-8 strawberries
Juice of one lime.

Put the beetroot and strawberries through the juice extractor. It’s better to put the strawberries through in between the beetroots. This is because the hard beetroots will help to push the softer strawberry pulp through the mesh of the juice extractor. If you’re using a Champion juice extractor scoop up the pulp and feed it through a second time. Squeeze the limes on a citrus press and stir in the lime juice.

Secrets Keep Us Sick

I have noticed a tendency amongst some cosmetics manufacturers not to list the ingredients contained in their products on their websites. I wonder if these might be the manufacturers with the most to hide?

Product: Jan Marini AntiOxidant Daily Face Protectant SPF 30

Dear Sir or Madam, Please be so kind as to email me a list of the ingredients contained in Jan Marini AntiOxidant Daily Face Protectant SPF 30. With best regards, Cannalily

Product: M.A.C. Studio Moisture Tint SPF 15

Dear Sir or Madam, Please be so kind as to email me a list of the ingredients contained in M.A.C Studio Moisture Tint SPF 15. With best regards, Cannalily

Product: Benefit Dandelion face powder

Dear Sir or Madam, Please be so kind as to email me a list of the ingredients contained in Benefit Dandelion. With best regards, Cannalily

Nana to the Rescue

I wake up rested, sans elastic bandage. Oh dear. What have I done? How am I going to get the thing back on again?

With relief I remember that Nana is coming to clean the flat this morning. I will ask her to help me. In the meantime I’m going to have a long, long, hot, hot shower and wash my hair.

That's Enough of That

3 a.m. I’m hot. I’m sweaty. I’m itchy. I’m uncomfortable. Damn it, I’m wide-awake. Aargh. I rip the elasticated pink sausage-skin from my body.

Who ever knew that lying naked in a cool cotton sheet could be such utter bliss?

Sunday 1 August 2010

The Princess and the Pea

I’ve been asleep nearly all day. That’s because I didn’t sleep one wink last night. The big pink elastic bandage is lumpy, itchy, and hot. I feel this is shaping up to be a long week.