London Calling

I am flying to London tomorrow morning. Sheldon and Doug will be there to meet me at Heathrow. I’m grateful for that. It will be good to see their smiling faces again. Yet I am also filled with dread. I know that my relationship with Nick is over. But leaving Sydney will be finally shutting the door on all of my dreams. I am flying away from something that I wanted so much. And I am flying back to something that I don’t want at all – namely my first round of scans and tests to find out if I am clear of cancer.

They say that home is where the heart is. My heart is in two places. I will miss Samantha, Lyla, Lily, Mandy and Tony, Marcus and all the new friends that I have made in Sydney. And I will be overjoyed to see all of my friends in London.

It is going to be hard to go to the airport and get on the plane alone.

But it is also time for me to allow the possibility of new dreams. And one of them is coming true already. An Australian publisher has asked me to turn Chemo Chic into a book.

All I can do is pray and try to live in the moment. Tomorrow is tomorrow. Right now it’s a warm Sydney Sunday morning. Samantha and I are off for one last swim at Bondi.

Another Country

I am reading Another Country by Nicolas Rothwell. Strange to say I used to know Nicolas, many years ago in London. In the author photo on the back of the book he looks unchanged.

I once wondered what had become of him. Now I know. He moved to Darwin and became an outstanding writer. An Englishman, Nicolas Rothwell writes about Australia with expressive clarity and a deep, emotional understanding of this land that is a joy to read. Another Country stirs my heart. It excites my mind. The stories make me yearn to travel in this ancient place as much I can in the short time that I am to be here. I want to find a partner to participate in the adventure to come. Who might I meet in Sydney?

If nothing else, Nick has been instrumental in my coming home to Australia. I thank him for that.

My recent experiences have left me shaken but not broken. I am determined not to allow myself to become bitter or untrusting in the future. I don’t yet know who my new lover will be. But I do know two things for certain: that he will be a man who knows himself and that he will have a connection with my country.