What's In Your Cosmetics? Who Knows?

Box Clever

My recovery programme has involved a truckload of therapies: chemotherapy; radiotherapy; adjuvant therapy; massage therapy; green juice therapy; brown rice therapy; psychotherapy… to name but a few. The therapy that has undoubtedly been the most fun is my patented Product Replacement Therapy. 


PRT* involves replacing all of my toxic cosmetics and beauty products with superior natural alternatives. Good Glamour is a subject that has become as dear to my heart as it is to my wallet. I’ve said it before: natural cosmetics are the new crack!


I do know, from experience, how dizzyingly confusing this whole subject of non-toxic beauty can be. I have kissed numerous organic frogs on the path to finding my Good Glamour ‘princes’. Mistakes are undoubtedly costly.


So I’m really impressed with the people at Amarya who have come up with a cunning plan to get you hooked on natural cosmetics. It’s called the Amarya Beauty Box. So simple: for £10 a month they send you a box containing a wonderful full-sized product plus samples of what’s hot on the market. Try before you buy.


Inside my Beauty Box I found a tube of Dr Hauschka Rose Day Cream (30ml – normal price £23.95) plus a trial size of Caudalíe Gentle Cleanser (30ml) and a sample sachet of John Masters Organics Vitamin C Anti-Aging Face Serum (2ml). Reviews to follow - stay tuned. That’s gotta be £10 worth in anyone’s language!


Amarya don’t insist that you sign up for a year but, if you do, they chuck in some extra freebies!


The Beauty Box is going straight onto Chemo Chic’s list of top pressies to give to a woman who is going through cancer. The prospect of having such a delightful surprise drop through the letter box each month certainly fills me with cheer.


*Don’t forget: Product Replacement Therapy – Live! Tell me which beauty product you can’t live without and I will suggest a fabulous non-toxic alternative that will soon become your new must-have. Join in on facebook, tweet @itsjessyjones with the hashtag #PRT or leave a comment below.

Product Replacement Therapy - Live!

Almost three years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I dived head first into researching and informing myself about every possible cure and contributory factor, no matter how insane. 

Once I'd calmed down a bit, I realised that there were about five areas where I could make fundamental changes in my lifestyle that would improve my outcome and, ultimately, my life. These were: 

1. diet

2. exercise

3. spiritual practices

4. getting and giving help

5. possibly the most tricky - beauty products. 

When I began to find out about toxic ingredients in my everyday cosmetics I was deeply confused. In fact, I did not want to know. It all seemed like too much information. I had other things to worry about. Yet the seed had been planted... Gradually, I began to understand what some of the issues are, what the alternatives are, which products actually work and where to get them. As my studies unfolded I became more and more horrified by what I learned. Over time I have replaced every single expensive lotion and potion in my bathroom with a safe - and superior - alternative. And, I promise you I do not miss those old 'friends' at all. 

You too may be concerned about what’s in your beauty products – yet feel overwhelmed at the prospect of digesting all this confusing technical information about ingredients, carcinogens, hormone disruptors and the rest. 

Do not despair – Product Replacement Therapy is here to help (see point 4, above).

Just tell us which beauty product you can’t live without and we will suggest a fabulous non-toxic alternative that will soon become your new must-have.

Leave a comment below or tweet your product to @itsjessyjones with the hashtag #PRT.

Airborne Glamour

So now you know that I am in sometimes-sunny Sydney. Obviously I got here on 
an aeroplane but unless you’ve ever done it yourself you may be unaware of just 
what a long and arduous flight it is from the UK to Australia… even for brats like 
me who insist on spending every penny of their hard earned cash on a business 
class ticket (best deals: Trailfinders). Which was just as well because after 
Royston drove me to the airport at 99 miles and hour with AC/DC’s Highway To 
Hell blasting at five thousand decibels I needed a bit of a lie down.


But Lily is not one to be idle for long. After reading the in-flight safety card, the 
in-flight menu and the in-flight movie programme, I put my time on the twenty-
four hour flight to work on your behalf researching in-flight beauty. 


For several years now our travels have been blighted by airport restrictions on 
what and how much we can take aboard planes in liquid, gel or lotion form. So 
packing the right products for a long flight takes meticulous planning.


After a great deal of deliberation about what I couldn’t live without for a whole 
day I have devised the Chemo Chic In-Flight Beauty Bag:


Products classed as liquids that must be carried in a clear plastic zip-lock bag.

• Pai Macadamia and Rose dry skin cream: this is a richer moisturiser so works well to combat cabin-air dryness.

• MV Organic Skincare Energizing 9-Oil Cleanser: the queen of cleansers, it is stuffed with nourishing and beautifully scented oils.

• Pai Lotus & Orange Blossom Bio Affinity Toner: soothing, hydrating and it smells divine - spray on face, neck and hands every two hours.

• Pai Rosehip Bioregenerate facial oil: mix a few drops with the moisturiser for extra richness. Because of limited space I use the moisturiser/ rosehip oil mixture on my hands as well, rather than taking a separate hand cream.

• Comvita Propolis toothpaste: try to save an almost exhausted tube so you can roll it up and it won’t take up so much space in your zip-lock bag.

• Sample size of Organic Glam Oud perfume: Oud is the classic scent of North Africa. It’s intensely evocative of exotic travel so one squirt before landing will do the trick.

• Hurraw Night Treatment balm: with blue chamomile to keep lips soft and supple.

• Ilia Bang Bang red lipstick: a sheer lippy to restore some colour to the face on arrival. Can also be used as an emergency blusher.

• Vapour Organic Beauty concealer stick: in case of in-flight breakouts, blotchiness and the inevitable dark under-eye circles.

• Organic Glam black mascara: always essential.

Products not classed as liquids.

• Inika eye pencil and brow pencil: for a two second eye glammafacation.

• Crystal mini mineral salt deodorant stick.

• Silk eye mask (the aeroplane ones tend to be plastic backed and scratchy).

• Ear plugs.

• Soft scrunchy (for keeping hair tidy whilst sleeping).

• Pair of knitted Afghan socks with leather soles for padding around the cabin.

• Mini microbead pillow: squishes up to nothing.

Congratulations!

First bit of good news that I've been meaning to tell you about:

To: Canalily

Subject: Congratulations!

Hello,

I’m writing with some exciting news, which is that Chemo Chic has made

it into 4Beauty’s round-up of the best health blogs:

http://www.channel4.com/4beauty/wellbeing/womens-health/best-health-blogs

We love your blog and are so pleased to be able to feature it on the

site.

Congrats again and Merry Christmas from the 4Beauty team.    

I am beyond pleased to be featured on their site. Channel Four's 4Beauty isn't just any old beauty website. It is, if you like, the Delia Smith of beauty sites - a gold mine of really useful basic information: make-up videos; fashion tips; how to wear lipstick and guides to creating glamorous hair styles. This is the kind of stuff that fashion magazines just don't tell us, the kind of stuff that I spent years figuring out.

My pick of the day from 4Beauty is How to Apply Mineral Makeup, something I've been meaning to write about but haven't quite found the time to do. I suggest that you read it immediately and save me the bother of writing a similar piece.

Best mineral foundations:

Inika Mineral Foundation

Jane Iredale Amazing Base

Ecotools retractable Kabuki brush

ila Put a Spell on You

Review by Jessica Jones


I am under the spell of ila. To say that ila is a range of utterly sumptuous home spa 
products would be completely underselling the whole thing. 


From their website...


“...by embracing the utmost ethical integrity that we can harness the earth’s highest natural 
vibrations: vibrations with the power to reach beyond the physical to nourish emotional and spiritual well-being too.”


Well - I’ve gotta get me some of that. 


Spiritual well-being aside, there’s nothing like a bit of luxury packaging to make me feel special. I savour the jewel-coloured boxes for a moment before ripping them open to 
get at the heavy, white glass jars nestled inside their golden cardboard linings. Following 
instructions from Denise Leicester, ila’s founder, I dump a handful of Himalayan bath salts 
with Damascena Rose Otto and Sandalwood into the tub and turn on the hot tap. Whilst 
the bathroom is steaming up I fold a fresh white towel, roll up some face flannels and place 
them neatly on the rim of the bath. Just like they do it in a real spa. Next I switch off the 
light and spark up my tuberose and rose candle. By now my tiny bathroom could be 
mistaken for  Sheherazade’s chamber. The bath is brimming so I top it off with a scattering 
of rose petals (not organic) and leave those to steep whilst I strip and rub my pale body 
down with Blissful Body Scrub - a heavenly concoction of Himalayan Salt Crystal, 
Damascena Rose Otto, Jasmine and Organic Rosehip seed oil. Then it’s simply a matter 
of sliding into the hot, scented water and lying there is a state of bliss and emotional 
nourishment for twenty minutes with a warm flannel over my eyes. Oh damn - I forgot the 
whale music. No matter, I can sing “Frosty the Snowman” and other hits from “The Phil 
Spector Christmas Collection” that Sheldon gave me last year. I mean, who is going to 
stop me?


So here is my first resolution for 2012: I’m going to be this good to myself at least once a 
week. I grant you permission to do the same.


And if you’re wondering what to buy as a Christmas treat for yourself or for a friend who is 
unwell, ponder no more.


ila Essence of Peace gift box, £74
ila Tuberose and Rose candle for inner peace, £45.94


Body Scrub for a Blissful Experience ingredients: Himalayan Salt Crystals (Sodium Chloride), Wild-Grown Argan Oil (Argania Spinosa Kernel), Almond (Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis), Rosehip Seed Oil (Rosa Canina Fruit), Sandalwood (Santalum Spicatum), Rose Otto Oil (Rosa Damascena Flower Oil), Jasmine (Jasminium Officinale), Patchouli (Pogostemon Cablin), Vitamin E Oil (Tocopherol Extract), Wild Poppy Essence, Naturally Occurring Citronellol, Geraniol.


Bath Salts for Inner Peace ingredients: Himalayan Salt Crystals (Sodium Chloride), Essential Oil Blend: Rose Otto Oil (Rosa Damascena Flower Oil), Sandalwood Oil (Santalum Spicatum), Jasmine Oil (Jasminium Officinale), Naturally Occurring Citronellol, Geraniol.


Tuberose and Rose Candle for Inner Peace ingredients: Beeswax, Jojoba Oil, Eco-soya, Essential Oils of Rose Absolut, Rose Geranium, Tuberose and Vetivert

Pinktober!

 

October sweeps in on a wave of insanely glorious sunshine and a tsunami of bonkers pink ribbon promotions.

If you were reading Chemo Chic this time last year, you will know that I am all in favour of raising money for breast cancer charities and being generally aware of the signs of BC to look out for. But some of the ways that companies latch onto this particular good cause to push their products is suspect, bordering on outright exploitative.

First out of the traps is Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, Tampa, Florida. So if you fancy gorging on hamburgers whilst gambling away your life savings for the cause, grab a cab to Heathrow now! They are running a "limited availability Pink Sheets guest room promotion including complimentary commemorative Hard Rock pin". Should you not feel pinked out enough you may wish to pop down to the gift shop to pick up a few pink bath robes, ‘collectible’ Hard Rock Pinktober charm bracelets, t-shirts, leather vests, sleepwear, travel mugs, bandanas, and pink-hued guitar-embossed, bedding. Between 15% and 25% of your cash will be donated to breast cancer research, depending on what you buy.

Alternatively you could stay sitting in front of your computer, take a few minutes to click on a link, fill in your card details and donate directly to your favourite breast cancer charity – which will receive 100% of the money. Then snuggle up on the sofa with a pink cushion and a cup of green tea to watch Downton Abbey, as I will be doing.

Far be it from Lily to judge. If you want to support breast cancer charities by filling your home with cheap tat, please be my guest. There is no harm in it. But I draw the line when companies start pushing pink ribbon products that contain ingredients known or highly suspected to promote breast cancer. This year’s top contenders for the Pink Hypocrisy award include American breast cancer charity Susan G. Komen for the Cure for their fundraising perfume ‘Promise Me’. According to Breast Cancer Action’s ‘Think Before You Pink’ campaign the pink-ribboned scent contains: ‘Galaxolide - a synthetic musk that works as a hormone disruptor, and Toluene, a potent neurotoxicant.’ Honest injun!

‘Promise Me’ is joined by another of the usual suspects: Estée Lauder’s Elizabeth Hurley pink ribbon collection. I will eat one of those BHT, Octinoxate, Alumina and synthetic fragrance containing little pink sticks if anyone can tell me one constructive thing that our Liz has done to advance the cause of breast cancer prevention, other than show up at parties sponsored by Estée Lauder.

YOU are Invited

Kiwi natural health and beauty company Comvita specialises in all things Manuka - not just honey but gorgeous beauty products, health supplements - even toothpaste. 


I'm giving a talk at their shop in Portobello Road. Please come along, have a cup of tea and hear all about Jessica Jones' Damascene conversion to clean beauty. Better than that, listen to words of wisdom from the lovely Tina Glynn of The Haven. She really knows what she is talking about. And even better than any of that, go home with a bag of Comvita goodies!

Consider yourself invited.

Please join us at Comvita Portobello on Tuesday 27^th September for an afternoon of pampering for the mind and body accompanied by a delicious afternoon tea.

Hear inspirational talks from natural beauty enthusiast and breast cancer survivor Jessica Jones alongside Tina Glynn MSc, BSc, RGN, Cancer Nurse Specialist and Programme Manager at Haven Breast Cancer Care.

Enjoy our specialist range of natural health and beauty products and gain new insights into the Western herbal medicine approach to cancer support.

Entrance is £5 and includes against a goody bag that contains a jar of UMF^® 5+ Manuka honey and other lovely Comvita stuff. Only limited spaces available.

Tuesday 27th September

1.30- 5pm

Comvita Portobello

212 Portobello Road,

London, W11 1LA

Nearest Tube Ladbroke Grove or Notting Hill Gate

Buses 7 and 70 to junction of Portobello Road and Westbourne Park Road

RSVP

portobello@comvita.co.uk

0207 985 0056

Grown Up Lipstick

Organic Glam Lipstick Red (3g - £17.50)

I am a self-admitted lipstick lover. I collect them in much the same way that a magpie picks up shiny bottle tops: I’m not sure what I’m going to do with it but I rather like the look of it.

Then every few years I have a big clearout and dispose of dozens of unused cylinders of Pearly Gates Pink, Hallowe’en Green, Cadaver Black, Deep Purple, William of Orange, Putrid Puce and Miami Midas Gold.

My most recent cosmetic clearance though was altogether different. Last year I threw out my favourite lippies – the ones that I wore every day. It was a wrench to lose them but they had to go, you see I discovered that they didn’t love me like I loved them. In fact, they were full of horrible things like parabens, lead and liquid paraffin. (Well I did keep the Schiap by Nars. It’s screaming matte pink is irreplaceable. But I resolved to wear it no more than once a month.)

There are only three colours that I actually truly wear: shocking pink; deep fuchsia and RED. Red lipstick is the ultimate seducer. Picture Marilyn Monroe or Rita Hayworth in your mind’s eye for a moment. What do you see? Exactly. Red is for women, not girls. It needs to be deep. It needs to be rich. It needs to be luscious.

Over dinner Iris’s friend Donald leans towards me with a conspiratorial air. “Do you know what red lipstick was first made of?” he asks. “Cockroaches,” I reply nonchalantly. Actually, I know that the red dye is not really made from cockroaches, rather from the cochineal insect but I enjoy the frissance of saying “cockroaches” loudly in a crowded restaurant.

Donald ups the stakes: “OK so do you know why women first wore red lipstick?” I try to appear magnanimous in defeat. “No. Please do tell me.”

“Well, it was Roman prostitutes,” he raises his voice a couple of notches, “they wore it to signify that they would give blow jobs!” Donald is a top model agent in New York so I guess he knows what he's talking about. He grins from ear to ear like a contemporary Caligula.

When it comes to the new beauty, skincare is in the vanguard. Independent alchemists all over the world have been mixing and refining rare herbs and oils to create some of the most luxurious creams and unctions that womankind has known. But on the make-up front the beauty revolution is still skirmishing in the trenches. I don’t understand why that is.

“It may be because the product development is so expensive,” says Imelda. When I think about it that makes sense. Once you’ve blended a basic face cream it’s just a matter of adding various precious extracts to create a line of cosmetics. But make-up requires a large array of colours and formulations. It’s obviously much more complex.

If there is one brand that is taking groundbreaking strides towards the future of face paint it is Organic Glam. They produce a small range but every product that I have tried so far has been stellar.

I unwrap my tube of Organic Glam Red lipstick. The packaging is classic: a slim oblong of black with discreet gold trim. At first inspection the colour looks disappointingly brownish. But wait, we’re in the magical world of natural beauty – everything is not what it seems. I twist the cylinder and slick on the lippy. On my lips it turns out a beautiful shade of intense, long-lasting carmine with a deep, velvety gloss. It glows. It smoulders. It rocks!

Organic Glam is the ultimate come-hither red. Make sure that you carry an exquisitely enamelled compact mirror in your handbag so that you can seductively touch up your red in a public place and enjoy those backward glances. They know they can't afford you.

Stepping Through a Doorway

A long day is in prospect. I’m having the big scary bone scan.


Sitting on the bus I notice that I have forgotten to wear the opal ring that Miranda gave me for Christmas. I feel doomed.

9.30 - Princess Grace Hospital, Nottingham Place. I’m here for a bone densitometry scan. Confusingly, this has nothing to do with the bone scan. Rather, it is to see if I have any osteoporosis. It’s as well to be on the safe side. This scan involves lying on my back whilst low dose x-rays are wafted over my body.

10. 15 - The Harley Street Clinic. A radioactive isotope is injected from a lead cylinder into my vein. I leave after being given the usual warnings about steering clear of children and pregnant women. As if I’d fraternise with them anyway.

10.45 - Content Wellbeing. I rush in and pick up this week’s beauty product I can’t live without: Hurraw! raw, fair-trade, vegan, cold-pressed black cherry lip balm.

11.00 - Cocorino, Thayer Street. Tess meets me for coffee at this tiny Italian café. I order a huge serving of scrambled eggs with sun-dried tomatoes on sourdough toast and a soya latte. Well I am trying to gain four kilos. Tess has a more restrained bowl of granola. Tess was in hospital herself this week but she’s looking fabulous in her usual yoga-casual way. 

12.15 - LOC, Harley Street. I have a follow-up appointment with nutritionist Jane Clarke. She has asked me to keep a food diary for the past week. I rummage in my bag, pull out the diary and a can of Coke, pop the Coke and push the diary across the desk to her. “I feel that just keeping the diary has helped. I’ve drunk a lot more water and I have put on about a kilo already." As my friend Jimmy always says “What you stare at gets bigger,” – only he has a much more snappy and memorable way of putting it that I can’t remember right now. Do I imagine it or did Jane glance at the can in my hand?

“I’m drinking this for medical reasons,” I exclaim, “Jane Plant says that the phosphates in Coke leach calcium from your bones and help to flush out the radioactivity.”*

“I’m not proscriptive,” she replies. Jane’s non-judgemental approach raises her even further in my esteem. She flicks through my diary. “Gosh, you eat well.” I glow with pride. “There are two areas you need to focus on. The first is proteins – you need to eat at least two protein rich meals a day. For you, the best proteins are eggs; all kinds of seafood; lentils, chick peas and all kinds of beans – hummus on oatcakes is great - also nuts and nut butters on wholegrain toast. Second, load up on antioxidants. Drink a fresh juice every day and vary the colours – have a green juice one day, an orange one the next and a red one another day. Eat loads of salad with lots of raw stuff: add in avocado, sprouts, chicory, raw broccoli, ginger, fresh herbs, seeds or onions. Adding hummus, a boiled egg or a tahini dressing gives your salad a protein boost. Beta-carotene is important. You get that from red and orange vegetables. Interestingly, beta-carotene is more available if the vegetables are cooked – so roast tomatoes, beetroot and pumpkin and add them into your salads. Do eat your brown rice, quinoa and buckwheat pasta but don’t fill up on carbohydrates. You need to leave room to boost your protein and antioxidants. Your body is exhausted from all the chemo and emotional stress. It’s as if you’ve had you foot to the floor for the last year and a half. When you get this depleted, your body starts to break down its own muscles in order to get the amino acids it needs. For a sweet eat organic dark chocolate. Have some cake from time to time if you want. This isn’t an exercise in self-deprivation. But try to choose a cake that has lots of good stuff in it and isn’t just white flour, sugar and cream. Keep up the good work. I will see you again in two weeks.”

***

13.15 - The Harley Street Clinic - in the basement where they keep the big guns. I don the ghastly gown and lie down on the table. Here we go. June, the radiographer, chats away. “Would you like some music? We have classics: Puccini, Mozart; or some easy listening piano music; jazz – or Michael Bublé?” I remember the endless Elton John cds that Big Bruce and I listened to in the radiotherapy chamber. We were given no choice in the matter back then. “Do you have any Elton John?” I ask. June shakes her head. “Mozart then.”

“This is a new scanner,” June explains about this gigantic machine. The camera will come down very close to your face and then as it moves down it will actually touch you. Don’t panic. It is searching for the heat of your body”

“But what will happen,” I ask, panicking immediately, “if it just keeps coming down and then starts slowly crushing the life out of me, like in a James Bond film?”

“If that happens, shout really loud and we will rush in and save you.” June ties my feet together to be sure there's no possibility of escape, gives me a look and leaves the room.

I lie on the bench and try to concentrate on breathing. The big camera descends to within a couple of centimetres of my face. It begins its slow crawl along the length of my body. It lightly touches my collarbone. I glance down at the giant, beige head. I now understand what it feels like to be nuzzled by a dinosaur. A dinosaur with the word PHILIPS tattooed across its forehead. Mozart fiddles away. I become aware that the head is rising and falling, almost imperceptibly. It’s as if the dinosaur is breathing. Or am I imagining it? I take a deep breath. The big head lifts noticeably. I breathe out. It falls back. Oh my god - this creature is closely following every slight movement of my body.

There is a screen to the left of my head, showing images of what the camera is seeing. The screen is on the periphery of my vision. I strain to pull it into focus and make out two little ghostly figures, lit up and glowing from the abdomen to the top of the legs. This is the part of me that the creature is inspecting now. But I simply can’t hold the focus. I mentally recommit to getting my eyes lasered.

Some long time later an alarm sounds. I jump involuntarily. The gentle undulations of the machine and the soft strains of Mozart have lulled me into a trance. Radiographer Susan enters the room. I have often noticed that whenever I have anything like radiotherapy or an MRI or a CT scan, one radiographer walks out the door and a different one walks in at the end of the procedure. I wonder if it has anything to do with mutating qualities of the radiation?

“All done Lily. Take a seat in the waiting area and we’ll bring you the films.”

***

14.15 - A Japanese café on Marylebone High Street. I take a seat and carefully place the sealed A4 envelope containing the films on the table in front of me.

“Here is the sixty-four million dollar answer.”

“Let’s have a look then,“ says Flossie, “I’ve been watching lots of episodes of House lately so I’m sure I can figure it out a few scans.” 


I’m getting through the anxiety of this long day with a lot of help from my friends. It’s great to see Flossie. Over sushi we chat about cosmetics with a dash of discussion about love addiction and love avoidance. These are our two favourite topics.

15.15 - The Wallace Collection, Manchester Square. If you’re ever wandering about in the west end with an hour or two to kill before you discover whether or not you have cancer in your bones this is THE place to go. It’s an eclectic, almost eccentric bunch of paintings, furniture, ceramics, sculptures, miniatures, swords, daggers, medals, suits of armour, jewelled trinket boxes and the like that was collected by various Marquesses of Hertford and, most notably, Sir Richard Wallace – who lived in this house between about 1760 and 1890. There is room upon room of stuff and a lovely café in the glass-roofed courtyard. Today I spend time with the Rembrandts, the fascinating miniatures of Napoleon and Marie Antoinette’s Sèvres porcelain before relaxing in the courtyard with a fresh pineapple, melon and ginger juice. Top spot.

17.00 - LOC, Harley Street. Iris and Lily enter the building. “That’s a good new look,” I say, complimenting Iris on her ensemble of slim trousers, bias-cut grey t-shirt, long grey silk scarf and mushroom leather jacket.

“It’s very business class in here,” comments Iris as she plops her monochrome self into an oyster grey suedette armchair. I judge from her expression that 'business class' is not necessarily what we desire. Suzy Cleator tears in from another hospital down the road. These top consultants flit like butterflies from clinic to clinic up and down Harley Street. “Come on Lily.”  She bustles. Iris and I follow her slipstream into the lift.

Upstairs we sit in more oyster grey suedette armchairs whilst Suzy sits in a high-backed swivel chair behind a cherry wood desk. She peels open the envelope. I study a minimalist arrangement of magnolia buds on the empty sideboard.

Suzy glances at the films and, quick as you like, says: “these are fine.”

There is a brief silence in the room and then the words pour out. “Oh that’s fantastic!” “What do you think is causing all the pains?”

“You have a slight scoliosis,” says Suzy.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a curvature of the spine, see?” She holds up the photographs. I can distinctly see a gentle S shape in the line of my backbones. “What causes that?” asks Iris.

“Usually you’re born with it.”

“And what is that? I ask, pointing to a noticeable black spot in the centre of my chest.

“It’s probably a tiny bit of arthritis.”

“In my spine? Should I be concerned about that?”

“Oh no, everyone has it. At your age. At our age,” Suzy corrects herself swiftly waving her hand about to include Iris and herself. “Everyone over thirty has it,” she concludes, limping across the finishing line.

***

Some days the greatest joy a person can have is to walk through a door and step back out into the world. Iris and I do just that.

“See?” says Iris, “I told you there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just old with a black heart.”

“That’s ok with me. I’m looking forward to getting a lot older, even if I do have to spend the rest of my newly granted existence with you.”


*In her book 'Your Life in Your Hands'. Scary huh?

Dream Liner

Inika Mineral Eye Liner (1.2g - £11.50)

In the past I rarely used eyeliner. The pencils would always wear down and then, at the moment I wanted to quickly slap on a lick of colour and run out the door I would find myself tearing my bathroom apart in the vain hunt for a pencil sharpener. After the eyepencils had spent a few months scribbling their colours all over the inside of my makeup bag I would throw them away in irritation.

As for the liquid – even if I could ever hold my hand still enough to apply it without painting a wobbly black line all over my face I found that it would crack as it dried down, creating a creepy snakeskin effect on my upper eyelids.

But now I’m having a new romance with Inika Mineral Eye Liners. The pencils are soft enough to go on smoothly without scratching or dragging, yet not so soft that they smudge all over my eyes. The colours are subtly beautiful. I started off with a shimmering sage one that really enhances my greenish-grey eyes. I love it and wear it most days. Remember what they say about any addiction, whether it be Bacardi Breezers, crack cocaine or eye pencils: “One is too many and a thousand never enough.” Today I purchased my second Inika eyeliner. This one is a rich, dark sapphire blue colour. I sweep it along my top lid and shazam – dramatic evening makeup in a minute.

Best of all, these pencils have a little sharpener built into the lid. So I’ve no excuse for not bothering to wear it.

Ingredients: Simmondsia Chinensis(Jojoba) Seed Oil; Euphorbia Cerifera (Candelilla) Wax; Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil; Cetyl Alcohol. May Contain (+/-) Mica (CI 77019); Ultramarine Blue (CI 77007); Iron Oxides (CI 77491, CI 77492, CI 77499);Chromium Green Oxide

Jingle Bells

Oh cripes. It’s Christmas again. I’m desperately sticking my finger into the dyke of denial about the whole event. Nonetheless Jingle Bells are leaking through here and there. I use my free hand to cover one of my ears. For Christmas last year I got disappointment and betrayal. Now I don’t want to think about the so-called season of goodwill anymore.

But what does Christmas mean to you? Peace on Earth. Goodwill to all. Presents!

You’ve probably got all the essential seasonal bribes for your kids, parents and partner by now, but what does one buy for one's friend who has cancer? After all you should get her something if only to cheer her up. But you don’t want to seem preachy, nor inappropriately jokey. And in the back of your mind there is a tiny, nagging whisper that this Christmas might be her last... it’s a minefield.

Here is a roundup of Canalily approved Chemo Chic Christmas gifts.

Natural and organic beauty products

Organic Pharmacy Virgin Cold Pressed Rose Hip Seed Serum. Fabulous for rehydrating dried chemo faces and also an excellent healing helper for scars.

Moo Goo Anti-Ageing Face Cream with Resveratrol. Dreadful packaging with pictures of cows’ faces contains a simply outstanding moisturiser.

Spiezia Intensive Moisturiser. A super-nourishing rich night cream made purely from organic, cold-pressed oils.

Nude Cleansing Facial Oil. Smells gorgeous and removes all makeup without dehydrating your face.

REN Rose Duo Gift Set. Divine body wash and body cream.

Pit Rok Crystal Deodorant. A great alternative to aluminium based deodorants – and it works!

John Masters Organics Evening Primrose Shampoo. If your friend’s hair is growing back she really should give it nothing but the best. This is a gorgeous shampoo with no SLS, SLES or other nasties.

Less is More Hair Lacquer. Smells lovely and contains no nasty chemicals.

Invisible Zinc Sun Screen. Wide spectrum mineral based sun screen without nanoparticles that doesn’t turn one into a pale ghost.

Non-toxic make-up

Organic Glam Mascara. Margo Marrone spent five years developing this alternative mascara. It glides on and is luxuriously lengthening.

Organic Glam Lipstick red. Creamy lipstick with incredibly intense colour.

Inika Organic Eye Liner. Has a nifty sharpener built into the lid.

Inika Mineral Eyeshadow. Vibrant colours. Can be used wet or dry.

Priti Nail Polish. No nail polish is totally safe but Priti is one of the less toxic brands.

Priti Soy Polish Remover. Non-toxic, not carcinogenic and it takes off your nail polish quickly.

This Christmas list is bringing on a bout of covetousness. I'm going out for a walk in the snow. I may be some time... stay tuned.