Thursday 12 August 2010

Some Days Are Harder Than Others

Today I’m seeing Suzy Cleator. Remember her? My oncologist. She went off to have a baby. Well she had a little girl and now she’s back.

In the waiting room is a woman who is obviously having chemotherapy. She’s wearing a wig and her eyebrows are pencilled on. Her partner is with her: husband, boyfriend, whatever. I can’t tell if they are married or not but what I can see is that he is being so tender and kind to her. I start to cry. I dash to the loo and splash water on my face but I can’t stop. When Suzy calls my name the tears are still coursing down my face.

How or when will I ever cross this ocean of grief? I feel I've been adrift here for so long.

I think it’s time to give the anti-depressants a go.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sorry to be a bad blog spotter: I am leaving my comment - bad as it may seem - personally I would never go near anti-depressants, unless they really do give you a go. crying is normal. and sometimes so too is depression.

Anonymous said...

Yes, sadness is normal....but if one tends to have deep, dark, long-lasting depression, that is not normal. There are many things one can do naturally to help combat depression; exercise and homeopathic remedies are a good start.