Words

I always meant to tell you

what I’d seen

where I’d been

what I’d done

how I’d become

who I am

I wanted to be heard

but I could never find the words

As I denied my words

cried

and then they dried

and then they died

And each dead word piled up

inside, as dust

‘til finally words

Just

Exploded out of me

like blizzards of confetti

words whirled through all my senses

confusing all my old defences

sometimes humming sometimes rhyming

words followed me

in perfect timing with my footsteps

walking in the park

lying in the dark in my bed

words danced in my head

sang to me

read poetry

spelled themselves out

in my spaghetti

whispered fantasies in dreams

leapt on me from books and magazines

I switched the tv on to drown them out

only the words got louder

they began to shout at me

from right there on the screen

Eat this pizza! Buy this washing machine!

seeking some respite I turned them down

I sat in silence,

then began to write

the stories my words told

about my life

and as I wrote them I let go

of all those things

I meant to tell you

years ago